style92

Sigh... disappointment.

2008-06-30T05:11:20Z

I'm going to get into trouble for posting this, but a full review Transformers: Animated Seasons 1 and 2 is going to have to come soon. Why? Because it's a very very good show that refuses to become great and tends to fall apart in it's season finales. Transformers is franchise with a lot of handicaps. There have been some good points, (the first series was good at sketching broad characters that were easy to love or love to hate, like Starscream, Soundwave, and Optimus Prime) but the whole franchise has suffered from it's need to shill for toys. it hurts the fiction in so many profound ways. Transformers animated is probably THE best thing with the Transformers name on it EVER, and does so many things right, it's just so disappointing when it gets some things SO wrong. Specifically, the season finales. And even more specifically, the Season 2 finale.

So, you may ask, what's so wrong with the finales? for now, without getting into it, it suffers from Teen Titans Syndrome. Yes, that's where I'd put it. Lots of build up to fall apart into something mediocre. So, it's significantly worse than what happened on JLU, (JLU had good stories that would end on totally non-sequitar twists that totally derailed the story they HAD been telling, but then again the totally new stories that came out of nowhere right at the end were fairly good in there own right, as long as you accepted they had no connection to the story they were building too,) but way not as bad as what happens on that abomination that is Heroes, (which is purely the mechanics but none of the soul of serialized television. It's nothing but a series of twist endings, big reveals and build up that doesn't gel and doesn't go anywhere. When heroes throws a big twist at you, you can be assured it will be taken back within two episodes. When it reveals something, you can be assured that the premise of the whole show will change to render the reveal void. And you can always be assured that all the tension is building to a great big nothing.)

I'll talk about it later.

Awe, lego Nightwing is so cute. :)

2008-06-11T00:07:29Z

life... sucks?

2008-06-06T22:38:53Z

Here's the deal. For the last decade, I've had personal enemy. A man who I hate. A man who, in my opinion, hurt my family time and again, by instigating my parent's divorce, turning my brother hateful, (and, I hate to say it, kinda narrow minded and stupid,) married my sister, then left and humiliated her. He fathered my beloved nephew, and I watched this man disappoint my nephew time and again. I HATED this man like I've never hated anyone else in my life.

And now... he's dead.

None of us had heard from him in 2 months. Tuesday, he ends up being arrested. tried to rob a convenience store and snatch a purse, but witnesses pursued him and held him for the police. "Ha Ha, what a stupid asshole!" I thought. Considering this guy used to have a 6 figure income and was cocky as hell, I was happy to see him taken down a peg.

Then, I get the news: he was a heroin addict and bipolar, but the cops didn't have a suicide watch on him. Suffering withdrawls, he hung himself with his bed sheets. was there for hours until he was found. Taken to the hospital. coma for 2 days. finally died this morning. Despite having been remarried, my sister is still taking it rough. And we don't know what to tell my nephew/his son.

And I... don't really know how I'm supposed to feel about this. I've roller costered from deflated relief to ANGER!!!! to sorrow. I... just don't know.

But it's left me with the oddest and most inappropriate desire to watch "Return of the Joker" again...

More proof that God exists.

2008-05-23T04:50:35Z

Peter Pan brand Honey Roasted Chunky Peanut Butter. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Wait, now that I think about it, that's actually proof that Never Neverland exists, not really for God.

*into bullhorn* SORRY ABOUT THAT PEOPLE! FALSE ALARM! ATHEISM'S BACK ON!

summer movie upkeep part one spoilers

2008-05-15T22:59:42Z

Spoilers for Iron Man and Speed Racer, and some C.S. Lewis Novels/movies. (NOT prince Caspian, but Lion Witch and Wardrobe and, believe it or not, Out of Silent Planet.)

Two weeks in, Summer has left me mixed/positive. So that's better than most I suppose. Granted this summer has better potential than most.

Iron Man: Mixed positive. I did NOT want to support Iron Man on it's opening weekend so I went the following wednesday. Sigh. It's better than most Marvel movies that don't have the words "X-men" or "Spider-man" in them. It's you know. Pretty good. But... the more I think about it, the less satisfied I've been with it. It doesn't hold up and I don't think it deserves the money it's made or the acclaim of fanboys. I mean, here's my two primary problems. 1.) The film starts with a decent theme. Stark, weapons manufacturer, is captured and discovers that his weapons don't deter conflict but fuel it. Good theme. So, the whole movie is about him making himself the best weapon ever? Yeah, he comes back and decides he will make weapons no more, (save for himself) but gets real pissed off to discover the terrorists have his weapons (didn't he already know that?) and goes on a rampage to destroy them. But, doesn't the theme of the movie demand he destroy the weapons the U.S. has too? He hasn't learned much at all really. He still thinks it's good for the government to have weapons and the terrorists to not, (when earlier it appeared he thought NO ONE should have them) Tony has just taken a much more personal approach to what he's always done. No real moral advancement. 2.) Okay, he's shut down weapons manufacture. What's he gonna do with the company now? The film initially offers a good alternative: He's going to look back into ARC generator technology, a 30 year old experiment in free energy that he hadn't advanced until it became part of his life-support rig. (Wait, is Iron Man supposed to be like an inverted Darth Vader? hmm) Obidiah Stane mocks this approach. Fat cat. But wait! Did you notice this later scene? there's a scene where Obidiah wants to figure out the companies' new approach fast, (villainy aside, there were thousands of Stark employees to think about) and it seems he's come around to Tony's ARC generator. "Just let the guys look at the one in your chest, start drawing up specs..." Well obviously. The only other one is 30 years old and Stark's miniaturized one would be an important advancement in making the technology feasible. "No, this one stays with Me!" Stark Rebuffs. Yes I know. This scene sets up Obidiah to later rip Stark's "heart" out to power his Iron Monger suit. But it doesn't jive with that earlier scene. I guess stark abandoned his plan to move Stark Industries to alternative power. It's all about his personal Iron Man vendetta. Which is really stupid and shortsighted in so many ways. At least Bruce Wayne knows the importance of keeping Wayne Industries afloat to keep as many gothamites as employed as possible. (more employment opportunities = less crime and all that.) Stark don't care.

I know I'm Riding Iron Man hard. I did say at the top I liked it though. I just resent that so many people tried to sell me on "Best comic book adaption ever!" and "No compromises of source material!" or, my favorite, "Most comic book movies contain that 'one element' that brings the whole thing down, like batnipples or mechanicle web shooters." Okay. So it doesn't contain that "one element" that brings it down, but it does have weak overall plotting and some severe thematic incoherence. I will say this though: the movie probably would have been better if it didn't HAVE to have Tony Stark become a Superhero. which is I suppose a compliment to the film makers but an back handed insult to the genre, suggesting that the Superhero film may be approaching it's limits. (probably because there have been way too many for such a short span of time. Fantastic Four should have been better. Iron Man didn't need to be made. Superman and Batman should not have been revived.)

SPEED RACER though I thoroughly enjoyed. I damn near loved it actually. It's probably the best family movie in 20 years. They just don't make them like this any more. A truly engaging action movie with great characters and hypnotic visuals containing a great message and cool scenes. It's funny but not in an ironic way, and has loads of sincerity. And it treats it's fans with respect but is fully accessible to new comers. Too me, this should be THE movie of the summer. and I have no idea why it's floundering. I mean, did you guys see it? if not, why didn't you see it? is it lingering resentment to the wachowskis re: the matrix sequels? No interest in the speed racer franchise? visuals turn you off? Gas just too high and you're saving your money for Indiana Jones? Well, whatever the reason, screw it, go out and see it. It's great. And it's a movie that's going to make me up my home theater game. I'm looking into getting a 27 inch and 50 inch televisions for my bedroom and living rooms respectively and a pair of Blue Ray players for them by year's end. DVD just will not do Speed Racer Justice.

So what else is coming? Prince Caspian this weekend? skipping it. I'm not too heavily into fantasy. I liked Lord of the Rings as it was coming out but burnt out on it. Harry Potter is good though. But the first Narnia? was meh for me. If I didn't know better, I would accuse it of being a haphazard slapping together of Rings and Potter. And yeah, even as a Christian the Christian allegory of the story bothers me. I know the source. I've read "Lion, Witch and Wardrobe" and "Out of Silent Planet" five years ago and C.S. Lewis just has no subtlety for this kind of Allegory. It's all very 1-to-1 stuff. Of the two, "Silent Planet" was a little better because it did have something of an interesting twist on the theology, (That all the planets of the solar system are inhabited and live in harmony and all have there own guardian angel, but earth's guardian angel was Satan and he went bad that's why we struggle with living with one another and wars and stuff.) But yeah, C.S. Lewis is a better author than I will ever be but hey, I don't care for his stuff. The movie will probably be well-realized though.

Later, there'll be Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. (title is too unwieldy for a jones picture.) We're all bracing for this one. I want to love it, but there's always the possibility it's gonna be just another Phantom Menace. But a new good Jones movie is just cool beyond words.

Later, there will be Wall-e, which I'm mixed on because I'm mixed on Pixar more than most. (and no, I'm not just talking about Cars. Monster's inc, and Incredibles are also lesser works.) I mean, the first previews just seemed to be a movie about a Robot goofing around an empty earth. (a family friendly version of Omega man/ I am legend?) And I wondered, "is stuff going to happen?" lately though, the previews do indicate that stuff will happen, so I'll keep an open mind. Kung Fu Panda? Parts of the preview make me really want to like it, because a family friendly old school martial arts/samurai movie would be cool. But then other previews are like, "yeah, this is just a Jack Black vehicle and everything that means." And I've been burned by Dreamworks animation before. (off to such a great start with "Prince of Egypt," but the success of the Shrek films just makes my brain hurt.) The latest Kung Fu Panda preview shows a slo-mo scene of the villain of the piece getting his face squished into Jack Black Panda's butt. So no. I don't want to support that. And for the love of God, I don't want to see Hulk 2. My brother will try to drag me too it but I'll have to put my foot down I suppose.

In July, there's going to be "Hancock," about a boozing washed up Superhero vagrant. I dunno about it. the trailers make me nervous. If the joke is played mostly as a look at celebrity downfall and recovery as applied to a Superman-esque character, it could be good. But if the joke is played as racist, then that would be bad. Based on the trailers, it could go either way. And did you know there's a Batman movie coming? Unfortunately, it's a direct sequel to Batman Begins. But I'll end up seeing it anyway, because Batman is the core of my geek life and to me is up there with family and religion, so I'm duty-bound to check it out. But I think I'll end up liking the tie-in video "Batman: Gotham Knight" a whole lot more. Kevin Conroy back as Batman! Yay! And that Batman vs. Deadshot sequence looks totally awesome.

That's it for my summer up keep. Look out for future editions! or not!

I'm scared.

2008-05-05T05:45:29Z

I had been feeling awful for a couple of weeks. Increased tiredness. headaches. I had just been wondering if I had been getting sick. But since it hadn't gone away, I decided to check my blood pressure.

I did it at walmart, and it was definitely not a resting rate. That's two things that make the test a little suspect, but it was the best I could do on a weekend that I had to work. my high number was a whopping 196. my low number was a 96. So, my blood pressure is definitely up.

I am already being medicated, but it looks like I'll have to have it adjusted. when I went on medication the first time, my done by a doctor blood pressure at resting was 150 over 120, and they visibly freaked. I've been doing better since, but I don't know what to make of my latest numbers. my high number would be the highest it's ever been, but my low number isn't. So maybe there's hope for me with a new diet and new meds.

But there's another issue at play here, related and making it worse. I've been... angrier, lately. for the last year. Anger has been building. And I'm not used to being angry. I come from an angry household. infact, my family name is sort of infamous for hot headed tempers where I come from, going back generations. We're also know for heart trouble. Great grandfather? died in his 40s from a stroke. Grandfather? 80s from a stroke. Father? still alive thank god, but suffered 2 (sort of 2 1/2) heart attacks. And the old family temper is rising. I was never known as an angry child. I saw how my father and brother got, and I said "I don't want to be like that." But for the last year those old barriers have been failing me. I suppose some old bitterness has been hardening into anger. And I don't want to feel that way.

But, ultimately you gotta believe things can get better.

The abyss is staring back into me again.

2008-04-30T05:19:42Z

Will sleep ever come?

Last blog of the night I swear.

2008-04-28T05:20:49Z

Walmart, you're enjoying this, aren't you?

It's after midnight and I can't sleep.

I've always been prone to sleep trouble. Never full on insomnia, but those nights every so often when I can't get to sleep until real late/early and have fitful and unproductive sleep. For no apparent reason. And this happens to me at least once every one or two months.

So, Walmart, you just had to give me all 2-11 shifts last week to train my body to sleep later. then, after one day off, I have to go back on at an earlier shift. And as it's shaping up, without the maximal amount of sleep.

Oh, I'll cut you a little slack, walmart. I watch I am Legend today on Pay per view and it's an excellent movie that's left me a bit unsettled. And I'll admit my shift tomorrow isn't that early, at 11-8. I know you've screwed me way worse in the past. (Such as those times you've had me work to a 11 one night then have me come back in at 7 the next morning. On such times I was tempted not to go home at all, but merely set up camp in the break room. I didn't, ofcourse, becasue that would have been insubordinate.) And I'll admit that the next day tuesday I have off again, which helps, even if I have to spend most of it on another commitment.

So what I'm saying Walmart, is that I'm facing a slightly annoying and uncomfortable situation and I feel it should be part of my benefits package that I should blame you for it. Have a good night.

It's stimulus package week!

2008-04-28T05:05:43Z

For those of us who chose to get there refunds as direct deposits. Like I did. And for those of us who have social security #s such that the last two digits are low. Such as mine.

So, what should I use it on to fluff the nation's limp economy? Bamboo boogie boots? Cigars? 100 cups of coffee? a nice stem cell rejuvenation package? What other kind of rich guy stuff can I do?

For now, I'll just boot up "300 big boys." Seeing as how I already own that DVD set, it's my patriotic duty to trash it and buy a new copy to celebrate the occasion. That's how RICH people do it.

;)

Sad and frustrated.

2008-03-27T20:37:27Z

warning, mopey emo post ahead.

I, uhm, am having trouble. I'm having lots of trouble with simple task orientation and getting things done. I'm having trouble focusing with lots of negative mental noise getting in the way. It's not a new problem, but lately it seems more intense and my loved ones are getting more frustrated with me and I'm getting frustrated with myself.

You see, various members of my family have been pressuring me to get a better job. And hell, I WANT to. I don't like working at Walmart. It's just... hard for me to do something like look for another job. I'm afraid of a routine change and don't know how to start, and mostly, I spend my whole day at work fighting myself. Drowning in negative hate speak from my own thoughts and being shamed and guilted by memories that force their way in unexpectedly and I can't stop it. And I just wanna go crazy and feel compelled to do something violent but with great force of will I keep that all down and focus on my task at hand and at least get through my day. So, on days off I still have to wrestle with all that but I try to avoid stress as much as possible, and looking for another job is stressful.

And I feel like I can't talk to family about what's bothering me. Those times I've tried... haven't gone well. A month ago I tried opening up to my father, asking him why I am the way I am, and he just used the opportunity to unload his frustrations with me onto me, and call me lazy and such. Also, I have a hard time putting thoughts and words together to express myself especially when understrain, so I pause when I speak a lot to try to put thoughts together and he gets frustrated about and yells "Say something!" and I can't because now I'm under even more stress.

As for my mom, I can't bring it up. I used to go to therapy when I was 15 but I quit because she complained about the cost to me. Another time, I told her about my mental difficulties and she thought I was making it up or something. And she calls people with mental difficulties weak and the like, so while I've been wondering for years if there's something wrong with me I can't talk about it. I can't talk about my day to day stuff, so I dare not bring up my darker episodes. Plus lately she's been frustrated with me for leaving college, saying how she can't make bills and she hoped I get a job that paid well enough to help out. And I want to do that, but part of me is resentful, because the way she talks it just reminds me that she gave all of her savings and retirement to my sister while barely wanting to help with my college and she was expecting me to support her.

And I want to move out and move away and be on my own, but she's just so handicapped and physically disabled and she needs help around the house and I don't trust that my siblings would help her so I can't move away.

And all I want to do is to do my writing and i want to do it so bad but my brain won't let me, won't let work for it or focus and won't give me a moment's peace. And in the end i don't know if there's something wrong with me or I'm just lazy like they say.

I... just don't know.

Superman: Doomsday review (Heavy Spoilers)

2008-02-29T06:54:56Z

(This review will strictly involve the movie. I don't actually own the DVD. Believe it or not, this sucker was on Pay per view for a while, and I bought it that way. But, waste not want not, I recorded on my Set top DVD recorder to DVD+R, So, all in all, my DVD copy of Doomsday cost me about $5. Cleverly thrifty, just ghetto? You decide.)

Jesus, am I really five months late reviewing this one? Where does the time go? But anyway, confluence of events have dictated I give this film a second look. There exists now a series DC Universe Direct to Video animated films. Doomsday was the "pilot" of this series, you could say. This week, the second Installment was released, the very anticipated "New Frontier" film. And a couple of weeks ago, a 10 minute preview was released for the third entry, "Batman, Gotham Knight" which is actually a compilation of Batman short films produced by celebrated Anime directors and studios. All this coming together, it made sense to check back in with "Doomsday" and render a verdict.

Doomsday is a loosey-Goosey Adaptation of the early 90's "Death of Superman" comic book Saga. It's loose because many of the fine details are different but in broad outlines they sound almost like the same thing. Speaking of Broad outlines: Our story starts with everything being pretty hunky-dory in Supermanland, with the unusual wrinkle that Lois is dating (and mating) Superman in a secret relationship kept mostly at the Fortress of Solitude. Flash cut to Luthor employees drilling deep into the earth, (and making a quip about Lex's plan to tap a new energy source that involves a journey to Hell and catheter,)when, whoopsie-doodles! They unleash the fearsome monster dude named Doomsday. One rampage through the city and Superpowered brawl later, and the whole world is morning over the Death of Superman. For about the next 10 minutes, the film is at it's quietest, and most emotionally provocative, As the world of Superman adjusts to life without it's titular Hero. Then, all of the sudden, geuss what! He's Back! Or is he? No, no he's not. It's a Superman imposter trying to fill the big guys shoes. Except he starts screwing up because He doesn't see why killing is such a big deal And thinks being a tyrant is a good idea. Luckily, real Superman is recovering up at the fortress of solitude, and while he was content to take some time off and let the new guy cover for him, imposter Superman goes on a rampage and forces Superman's hand to come in and fight him at only 2/3 strength. Yadda yadda yadda, one more Super powered brawl later, imposter Superman gets crushed under a giant allegory. Metropolis forgives and forgets much faster than it's DCAU counter parts did, (though, to be fair, the DCAU seemingly got burned by Superman like, 3 or 4 times when you think about it.) Superman and Lois have Sex one more time to celebrate, Superman reveals he's really Clark Kent to Lois, (even though they both knew she knew all along,) and The End. And stuff.

So, we'll take this one by the numbers. But, I'll go ahead and tell you my opinion up front. I felt it was overall pretty good, and enjoyed it, and have watched it, like, 3 times now. But I'm not exactly peeing my pants over it.

Visually, I appreciate the new looks of the characters. Obviously, the thing is all still adhering to the Bruce Timm style, even as the characters are redesigned. So, it still mostly looks like a later permutation of STAS. Speaking of later permutations I also liked that the look of this movie suggests that this is a story far down the line in Superman's career. Basically, everyone looks about 10 years older than we're used to seeing them. Jimmy looks to be pushing 30, Lois and Clark/Superman each look to be pushing 40. Only Lex Luthor seems unaffected by the trend, who comes off younger than we're used to. (Actually, he looks/sounds more than a little like the Smallville Lex Luthor, if THAT character were aged 10 years. So, maybe my premise holds. But probably not.) For Superman, this produced an unusual association. Now, let me say, that the "Cheek Lines" of the Justice League Season 1 Superman never bothered me, and were a non-issue, and I was surprised so many people got so freaked out about it on Toonzone. So, in theory I wasn't too perturbed that they made a comeback for the Doomsday Superman character model. It helps make him look older. Except that, those age lines were now combined with very prominent cheek bones such that, the end result made Superman look... a hell of a lot like Ronald Reagan, in my opinion. And for the life of me, I don't know if that was intentional or not, and what the consequences are if it was. Now, I know Frank Miller was the first one on record for making the comparison. So, based all on this look, I kept thinking if this was meant to be some allegory between the good aspects of Reagan (or Reaganism) and the bad aspects of the same? Is this all political Satire? Or am I just reading too much into it.

And you know, the writing, the characters... sigh, the writing and characters. I mean, it's all fine, it's alright, but, ya know... It's nothing fans of the DCAU haven't seen already, several times. I mean, the themes explored are old hat to anyone who's seen Stas episodes Blasts from the past, Identity Crisis, Brave new Metropolis, Prototype, Absolute Power, and Legacy, or to Justice League viewers with episodes like Tabula Rasa, A Better World, Hereafter, Starcrossed, Fearful Symmetry, Ultimateum, Doomsday Sanction, and Clash. And honestly, part of me suspects that this was a major motivation to do this story first. I can imagine certain fans and powers that be at DC saw Bruce Timm steer STAS and Justice League in the general direction of the "Death of Superman" story line only to watch as he yanked back and took familiar elements of the story and used them in much different ways. Rather than be part of the Superman death Saga, Doomsday was wrapped into the Cadmus arc and had his origins explicitly tied there-to. This gave Doomsday's battles with Superman(men) a radically different context. As for Justice League's actual Death of Superman story, well, it's been noted before just how odd an episode it really is: examining it's story sequence, it's plotted like a farce on the whole Death of Superman as a story concept, but plays it with grim-jawed sincerity. SUCCESSFULLY, I might add. So, and I have no basis for this besides suspicions gathered from certain quotes, but it seems like DC wanted to finally hog tie Bruce Timm into animating THIS story as a somewhat direct adaptation. The result is that "Doomsday" is blazing it's trail through what is already very familiar territory.

In this piece, Superman is Superman and that's about it. But given the plot structure, that could hardly be otherwise. After all, he's killed at the end of the first act, sidelined for all of act 2, and makes his grand return only in time to battle his nefarious twin. Therefore, it's Lois Lane who truly takes on the protagonist duties in this piece, and I find her to be truly satisfactory in that role. She's played the way she ought to be: a tough take-no-shit reporter. Her Take-no-shitty-ness also extends favorably into her personal life, showing that she's a capable and intelligent woman who knows what she wants. Yeah, she long ago figured out Superman's secret. But she's not going to let him just not tell her anymore, NOR is she going to let him off the hook by explicitly saying "I know you're Clark." No, she's going to make him tell her and explain WHY it's important he tell her. I think too many people interpreted this scene as showing her being either obstinate or a nag. No, she's making a very intelligent and adult point. After all, if he had, it would have made Lois's scene with Ma Kent go a little more smoothly. While I'm on the topic of that scene, let me say that it's the most well made and emblematic scene of the entire piece, the one where the film delivers on it's promise: Showing us how the people in Superman's life would really deal with him being gone. And how Lois almost resents that the whole world is putting on a show of sympathy and mourning, but what do they know? They're merely crying over a Superhero who they saw on TV, and who a handful of where directly saved by. How can there pain even begin to touch Lois and Mother Kent's pain, who are mourning the loss of a person they loved. Very smart little scene that makes the picture for me. Ofcourse, after that the whole thing starts to go off the rails. No, scratch that. What it does from there is resume being a Superhero movie, which is deflating, considering that, just for a moment, it was something just a little bit more.

So, Superclone shows up and Gotham is all happy, thinking it's Superman. And the movie decides not to keep us in the dark for too long. It only plays a little coy, making us wonder during the toyman scene, then rushes to tell us that this guy is in fact Superclone, another fine abomination from the good folks at Lexcorp. Superclone is just a prototype, it seems, as Lex is testing the waters to see if people actually buy him as Superman. If they do, well, it turns out there's more where he came from. We know all this because Lex Monologues it at the body of the real Superman. (Lex apparently doesn't mind talking to a corpse. Since he's dead, Superman doesn't talk back anymore, so Lex's monologuing just becomes that much more efficient I suppose.) While gloating to Dead Superman about how good Superclone is, Lex laments that Superclone does not have Superman's mind, Superman having taken his secrets to the grave and all. Aye, and there's the rub, which we will soon learn. (and I note that the film points out exactly where it's rub is, in case someone in the back row didn't catch it.) You see, not knowing a thing about Superman's secret childhood or the principles Superman lives by, it becomes clear that Lex's programming of the clone probably goes something like this: "Protect and serve the people of Metropolis, Do Superman stuff, and whenever I call for you, drop all that and bow before me." See, Lex doesn't really understand why Superman is the way Superman is. He admits as much in his opening statements, where he's baffled that Superman hasn't explicitly tried to take over yet. If Lex can't understand that, how can Superclone? See, Superclone tries to do the Superman thing, catch Toy man and hand him over to the cops. And the cops fumble the ball and a child dies because of that. So, Superclone doesn't make the same mistake twice and decides it's just better to off toy man once and for all. Sure, I bet only Toyman's mama really mourned his loss, but seeing Superman off toyman still made everyone really uneasy about this guy. Was it a gratuitous scene? Yes, Yes it was. I don't think we really had to see Toyman slam into the car like that, it did smack of being tasteless. Still though, I think it did effectively make the point it was trying to make. I compare it to the next scene, the perverse version of Superman saving a cat from a tree. I understand what they were going for there too, but I'm not sure the scene, you know, makes any real sense. Though I think the escalating menace got back on track with the revelation of the counter measure Lex implanted in Superclone incase Superclone ran amuck, and how Superclone defeated the counter measure. That scene at least made the point it was trying to make and didn't have to be graphic about it. So, okay, it's all coming together. Superclone is no Superman because Superclone is no Clark Kent and had no Ma kent to raise him. Not a bad theme, overall. Helps to emphasize why Superman is so special and unique,(you know, special and unique besides his super powers.) And it's letting us at least kind of form this conclusion on our own. So don't you just love it that Superman and Superclone have a conversation where they just outright say all this? "I'm a reflection of you, Superman! As you might have been!" "What, if I was raised by Luthor?" "If you were STRONG!" "No, you're my reflection in a cracked mirror!" I mean, this exchange just made me wince. This point had already been made, and the dialog was just obvious and cloying. I mean, jeez, maybe they should have given Superclone a goatee while they were at it.

But, all in all, Superman: Doomsday is a competent and enjoyable work that was worth MY purchase price at least, ($5, remember?) But people who have been following DC animation before this high-minded DTV campaign will find the film a retread and a heavy handed one at that, and the film is a little too in love with it's PG-13 rating. (Whatever you do, DC, don't let them do an R rated DTV! Their heads would explode!) Still though, Members of the mainstream audience who still don't think that Superheroes can handle material anywhere in the vicinity of heavy, (such as themes of death and loss) may be impressed. My father was. He was an avid Superman reader right in the heart of the Silver Age, but he tuned out when he grew up and stuff. He checked the film out and found it very impressive. So, you never know, this film DTV experiment may work the way DC wants it to after all.

And finally: a note about continuity. When I first conceived this review, I thought this would be a major subsection, but perhaps it need not be. Doomsday takes place in what is known as a "micro-continuity." Meaning, it takes place in a continuity of Superman where the film "Doomsday" is the only published story to represent it. In that sense, it stands alone. Still, to look at it, the film longs for history and continuity, and some very provocative easter eggs are hidden at the fortress of Solitude. Look closely, and you can spot things like the robots from Superman vs. The Mechanical Monsters, the Bottle city of Candor, a set of the imprisoning rings that held Zod and co at bay on Krypton, the STAS anti-Kryptonite suit, and a Brainiac skull evocative of his pre-crisis look but also featuring the STAS Brainiac emblem. Take all this literally, and Superman Doomsday takes place in a timeline where the Fleischer shorts, the Chris reeve movies, the Silver age, and STAS have all happened in the past. But, I believe it's more symbolic than that. They may be acknowledging that it's a little off to feel for the death of a Superman we've only just now met, (though, maybe only geeks worry about that issue) and all those easter eggs are just ammunition to interpret Doomsday as the sequel to which ever Superman best floats your boat. So, if I wanted to, say, interpret Doomsday as an alternate future scenario to STAS where in JL/U didn't happen, and by so doing give Doomsday additional meaning by being specifically about the Superman I knew and loved, I could point out that Anti-Kryptonite suit in the background and call it a day. And I think there are people who have done exactly this. So, I dunno, but I think it's nice that some effort was given to let this Stand alone movie at least of the semblance of history and continuity.

My interest in the end of the world.

2008-01-31T06:32:19Z

For warning: this is one of those mopey and morbid posts. Feel free to move along.

So. anyway. I've been sick lately. Got my antibiotics, fighting it out. I've spent most of my life after 15 being nearly perpetually sick. And my parents are in poor health. So we all get upset at each other, all of us expecting the other to be the care giver. But anyway.

So, it's in these moods I tend to get morbid. On other occasions, I've mused on Death, Eternity, and annihilation. (To recap, I don't want annihilation, but I fear eternity, even one spent in heaven.)

Well, lately, my mind has drifted to another old mental hobgoblin: the apocalypse. I've always been interested in it. A major reason being that I was perpetually, deathly afraid of the instantaneous end of the world from 3rd grade, (me being about 9,) to 10th grade (me being about 16.

Some kids probably experience a secular version of this. worrying that you'll see a sudden mushroom cloud or some terrible terrorist attack. But mine came from my religious upbringing.

About now, I should probably quickly recap what current teaching about the end of the world is in evangelical Christianity. This is just one interpretation of the book of Revelations, not the only one. (and not even the most accurate one.) Okay, I was taught that the end of the world would go something like this.

We're all wandering around, doing our thing, when a trumpet from heaven sounds. Jesus shows up. This is NOT the second coming though. this is something called the rapture. Only Christians see jesus, and he whisks all good christians up with Him into the sky and we all go to heaven. Meanwhile, on earth, a supreme asshole known as the antichrist takes over the world by negotiating peaceful co-existence between Israel and Palestine. (If this belief raises your eyebrows, it should.) Anyway, yadda yadda yadda. Antichrist turns out to be Hitler on steroids, in that he launches a Holocaust that makes Hitler's look subdued by comparison.) Meanwhile, up in heaven, this all makes God mad, so he starts unleashing plague after plague onto the earth that makes the old testament seem subdued. This, more or less goes on for 7 years, Then Jesus comes back, This time it IS the second coming, fights the battle of Armageddon, throws the antichrist into the lake of fire. But instead of doing the same thing to Satan, he just gives him a slap on the wrist by way of a 1000 year prison sentence where he's chained up in a cave somewhere. Jesus takes over the world and rules earth for a thousand years. (In case your wondering, there are non-Christians and non-Jews as part of this new world order too. They just defer to the Christians. I don't know if that makes you feel better or not.) So, things are kinda quiet for a thousand years. Then Satan gets let out. instead of learning his lesson, he just starts stirring up shit again. He finds a couple of dudes named Gog and Magog and they all start riling up the people, (those non christians,) to rebel against God one more time, for old time's sake. God just says "meh" and wipes them out with fire and brimstone, which compared to Armageddon is actually not that much effort. God destroys the current earth and the current universe and makes new universe and new Earth. Except Earth is more like the planet Coruscant from Star Wars, no natural features just one large Holy City named "New Jerusalem." And that's where we all live happily ever after, the end.

Can I again stress that while a majority of American Protestants currently believe this model, this is NOT how Catholics or any other part of the Christian world or any other time in Christian History interperets Revelations?

Anyway. I was taught this in 3rd grade. (I'll remind you that I was in private school from K-12. School and Sunday School were one and the same for me.) And not only that, I had to endure the attitude that "this could all happen at any second." That was terrifying. Kids would that there mom's friend's friend had seen an Angel hitchhiker dressed in a tux saying "Gabriel's lips are on the horn." I remember my teacher explaining the school plan to us, telling us when we'd graduate High School, (2003) and when we'd start College. Then she'd dismissively say, "Well, Jesus will almost definitely come back long before you graduate." Followed by an even more direct, "Yes, children, Jesus is coming back soon!" and all the little children in that class besides me whispering excitedly "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"

I decided. I didn't WANT to be a part of the rapture. I didn't want to be alive on that day. I mean, think about it: you're minding your own business, when in the blink of an eye, you're torn away from everything and everyone you know and love, and your very nature as a living being was changed? While the other children prayed to Hasten Christ's Return, I prayed, "Jesus, please let me grow old and die before you come back. You've already waited 2000 years, just give me an extension of one measly life time." Okay, so I'm throwing in that second line as an adult. But honestly, it didn't make sense. Why should I be born and be just a little kid when Jesus comes back, giving me a brief taste of life then denying it to me?

As a child, the unsettled me. I couldn't sleep over this. Any loud sound I would get worried was Gabriel's Horn. I had Nightmares about the second coming. One, a vivid one, had Jesus coming back while I was at a stadium of some sort. To this day, I've refused to go to a sporting event for this reason.

Eventually, I mellowed out on all this. As a teenager, I faced the issue head on after a sorts by intensely studying Revelations and other books about Christian Prophecy. I calmed down when I read books and articles, (not least of which, an excellent one online by our Toonzone friend The Old Maid) that showed me the Rapturist model is way off. And making fun of those awful left behind books help.

Still, in my unquiet moments, a loud noise will spook me and the idea of being instantaneously whisked off to heaven is not too appealing to me. And thus, that's where I've been mentally for a couple of days.

The Batman Season 4 review (SPOILERS)

2008-01-08T21:44:39Z

Yep, Spoilers.

Ah, the Batman season 4. Missed it as it was airing, but through the magic of DVD, I've seen it now. I love how that works. This Season is the season wherein either A). Batfans starting watching because they claim it finally got good, or B). the bellyacheing grew old and the Batfan hold outs finally decided to settle. I think it was B, because the season, while excellent, was not a marked improvement over the previous two.

And on to the episodes!

A Matter of Family: Robin finally makes his overdue entrance into The Batman and the series finally becomes complete. As an episode, it has it's moments, it really does, of being something akin to artful. Still, while writers are slaving away at new and innovative ways to portray Batman's origin, Robin's comes off kind of perfunctory, like everyone's reading a script. Like "Robin's Reckoning," Bruce Wayne impulsively takes in Dick only to pawn him off on Alfred. In both cases, Batman professes to be doing it for Dick, ("I'm doing this for him!" "I don't want your childhood to be consumed by revenge. Like mine was." Ooh, like that last line, didn't think this series would go there,) but Really Bruce has adopted Dick's cause so he can project his own frustrations on his parenters murder onto Dick's Parent's Murderer. Yep. This one also had the job of getting Dick to be Robin by the end, which "RR" didn't have to deal with, (remember, that one only got Dick down into the cave, not into costume.) Here, Dick becoming Robin so fast almost works, and almost doesn't feel forced.

Nice use of BTAS cameos.

Team Penguin: Guilty or not, Tom Kenny's Penguin is a pleasure I never tire of indulging in. I know it's kind of in vogue to hate him and the Joker, but Damn, I find them both immensely pleasing. Here, the Penguin has hatched an idea that ain't that bad, all things considered, and does a nice job of bringing back in B and C rate villains. This version of Killer Moth is really really funny too, and gives the Titans version a run for his money. (Particularly the twist him Moth become a true monster, but still maintaining loyalty to Penguin who has abused and belittled him so!) On the other side of things, Batman's team gells as Robin and Batgirl meet, (so glad they didn't drop Batgirl as though she never existed, a la Yin) and rankle each other nicely. In fact, things settle into a very comfortable groove, that eerily reminds me of the TNBA days. (So much so that I often think of Robin as Tim, not Dick, then have to mentally correct myself. "No, this IS Dick.")And maybe it's odd to say so, but I'm glad Batgirl is a younger teenager this time out, so she's NOT defined as a love interest to either Bruce or Dick. As such, the Dick/Babs interaction is refreshingly innocent and spunky.

Nice action too. Especially love Robin's fight with Ragdoll as viewed from exterior.

Clayfaces: Ethan Bennet's Saga comes to an end, as his reputation is restored in a fight with a much more vicious Clayface. Now, personally, I always liked Meltdown and felt it DID make an interesting case for why Bennet would lapse into outright villainry. A few others, though, didn't like that episode and felt the change was unnatural. Seems like the guy who wrote this agreed with the latter opinion, so he fixes it by making Bennet's switch back just as sudden and arbitrary. So then, Bennet's Saga, which should be an epic about the fall of a Just Man and his fight to redeem himself, comes of just somewhat hollow. Still, the episode is pretty good.

Basil Karlo as Clayface Mark II is grating, but I grant that was the point of his character as written. It's clever that his crimewave is a huge publicity stunt, but Hagen as the actor Clayface was just better. He was Clayface as if played by Heston, (or Heston's lower-rent TV counterpart, Shatner) The material can be paper thin, but so much .....ACTING!!!... goes into it it manages to play. Basil Karlo is just played by the schlubb working at Blockbuster.

The Everywhere Man: The Everywhere Man is just as interesting as his Gimmick (duplicating himself) would indicate. No more, No less. More satisfying is Batman's reaction to all this: Utter disdain to this villain and his means and motives. Batman treats him EM as if EM is just totally beneath him. (In some ways, it's worse than how BTAS Batman treated Ra's Al Ghul. At least Batman would crack jokes and laugh openly at Ra's over the top super villainry. Everywhere Man just isn't even worth THAT kind of effort to Batman apparently.)

The Breakout: Indulge me, please. Back in the Miasma between Batman and Robin and Batman Begins, when Warner Bros. knew they still wanted to make Batman movies but had no idea how to do it, everyone seemed to have an opinion on the matter. My personal suggestion was, Why do Superhero movies need to be structured the way they are? Basically, a Superhero engaging in a grudge match with a Supervillain that goes for an extended period of time and several encounters across a movie. Can't it be structured more focusedly? How about a Batman version of Die Hard, for example? Well, the Breakout is as close to a Batman Die Hard as I've seen crop up in as many years, and it's a refreshing and engaging change of Pace for it.

But let's not beat around the Bush: the stars here are Robin and Batgirl, who are charming as kid sidekicks in ways kid sidekicks usually aint. from there initial goofing off to them having to rally to beat back Black Mask's forces with no police and no Batman to help them. It's all very honest. From Robin sinking briefly into despair to Batgirl's tender treatment of the unconscious Commissioner, (without an explicit reminder to the audience that they are father and daughter, which I thought was a nice touch,) it's easy to get caught up in it all.

Strange New World: Damn Bat-embargo. This should have been a Scarecrow piece and we all know it. If it were, it would have been a more creative use of Scarecrow Toxin than anything in BTAS or TNBA. So, Hugo Strange has created a Toxin that turns all of Gotham into Zombies, and it's down to Batman to save the whole city. Or is there more to this than meets the eye? (ROBOTS IN DISGUISE! Sorry.)

Effective Use of the "Dream as trap." Not as good as "over the edge" or Futurama's "The Sting, but possibly on par with "Perchance to Dream" and defiantly better than the animated "For the Man who Has Everything." (Seriously, having the dream of FTMWHE be a paradise is seriously missing the point. Awakening from a dream or delusion is never nor should it ever be portrayed as a tragedy. And don't try to through "Perchance to Dream" at me. that dream world was only superficially a Bruce Wayne paradise. Fundamentally, it mocked his entire being. FTMWHE coddled Superman's.)

Artifacts: So, if this is the year 3000 or so, does that mean Fry, Leela, and Bender are flying around somewhere? and wouldn't Bruce Wayne's head be at the Head Museum? Well, anyway, this episode is mostly about the writers getting able to work out there "Future Batman" jones, hence cameos by Oracle, Nightwing, and a DKR-esque Batman. And Mr. Freeze is going the same way as his TNBA counterpart, it seems. So, if seeing all those things gives you Geekgasms, more power to you. But I ask: wouldn't a Carrie Kelly esque Robin have rounded things off nicely?

Seconds: For some reason, I suspect this episode may have originally been intended as a Clock King introduction, but then they decided against it. Anyway, it's a clever use of time travel and a gimmick that gets laughs. Particularly flattering to the couch potato viewer is the idea that any problem, including an assault from Batman, is just a series of smaller patterns to navigate. What I do and don't like about this episode: I DO like how he gets his Superpower. No accidental infusion, just a man left isolated, with nothing left to do but to explore his brain's own innate potential. I didn't like how the episode claimed such pathos at the end. To that point, it was just Batman in a fight against a clever foe, as Batman struggled to figure out a way to overcome him. Then, it just all went apocalyptic in a hurry. Sure, our criminal got a happy ending, but it's still not the ending I felt was most appropriate to the piece.

Riddler's Revenge: The Riddler finally gets a second solo outing in a tale that explores his origins. As has been said before, sometimes the problem with this character is that the writers over think his escapades. This one, finally, has gone in the opposite direction. We don't get a central Riddler crime to solve, but rather open on Riddler having planted bombs on his former boss's boat that can be diffused when his boss can solve a hilariously simple Riddle. But Riddler has his boss bound and gagged, taunting him "Speak up! I can't hear you!" And what follows is his origins, peppered with a minor mystery.

This episode, more than anything else, made me realize that by now Riddler does have a definitive over arching origin story that's true of him in mostly all versions. Basically, Riddler is a talented young genius who gets screwed over by corporate America. That's true in BTAS, Batman Forever, and now The Batman (In Batman Forever, the executive who screws over Nygma was none other than Bruce Wayne! I KNEW I still liked that movie for a reason!) But I must confess, this take on Riddler does try a couple of interesting twists on this rapidly forming archetypal tale. Mostly, was Edward Nygma's persecution mostly in his mind? An important point of his origin is his feud with his father. Obviously Nygma viewed him as an overgrown brute that humiliated and belittled him, and just "didn't understand." But we ask, was Nygma's father such a bad guy after all? All he seemed to do was insist his son get out for a little physical activity and interact with other children. Both of which are currently being strongly urged of parents in our internet-driven age. Oh sure, the man may have broken some of Edward's puzzles, which probably was going over the line somewhat. Still, if Edwards father had, say, confiscated instead of destroying those puzzles, that wouldn't have been bad. As such, it seems Edward Nygma spent his life rebelling against his father and his lessons. Which makes it very easy for me to see Nygma's chief failing as an adult: He's naive about people.

Nygma's boss would be in the habit of calling him Champ just as Nygma's father would. That, all by itself, was enough to make Nygma hate him. Nygma was paired on a project with another scientist, who happened to be a pretty and young woman, who spoke to Nygma cordially. That, all by itself, was enough to make Nygma think she was to be his great love. But again, Nygma fails to see below these surfaces. Nygma's boss may have been a blowhard, but we all have obnoxious bosses and Nygma's probably wasn't so bad, all things considered. As for the woman, Nygma had already made the mistake of viewing her as an accessory to himself, (his love) and stopped seeing her as an independent moral agent. Sure, she took advantage of him, and that's reprehensible, (Batman's decision to leave her tied up until the police came is understandable,) but she does seem to have one redeeming value: she knew people. She could see that Nygma was a naive, socially and emotionally stunted person whom she did NOT want to be working with for years to come. Next to Nygma, who would never have been able to grasp such subtlety, she comes off not so bad.

On another note, it's interesting that Batman solves the mystery of who sabotaged Nygma by pointing out that Nygma's boss would not have been smart enough to sabotage the brain discs to make it look like equipment failure. Only someone who actually worked on the project could do that. It's an interesting point, because, in really for real life, that would be a great big "Well DUH!" But, in comic book would, not necessarily. In comic books, many characters that figure prominently are very smart, even some who you wouldn't think would be. I mean, this is a universe rife with Business men who are also talented scientists who could pull something like that off. To me, it's a smart narrative move that subtlety disobeys the rules. (For another example of intelligence blown out of proportion, I submit Return of the Joker. Yes, great movie, but c'mon, I found it's central conceit laughably both then and now. I can believe the Joker as a brilliant chemist, but Joker actually managed to figure out a way of implanting Brainwaves and DNA into a microchip that re sequences the physiology of it's victim into the Joker? I mean, wouldn't cloning himself have been vastly easier by comparison? Seems Dwayne McDuffie felt the same way I did and had the little retcon in Epilogue about Joker stealing Cadmus nanites to pull it off. See, I don't critiscize McDuffie all the time.)

One final note about this episode: Title may be a reference to the Rubicks Revenge, a 4x4x4 version of the Rubicks cube introduced when the public started to figure out how to solve the 3x3x3 version.

Two of a Kind: Harley Quinn gets introduced to the world of The Batman as Paul Dini is tasked to reconfigure her origins to something more befitting The Batman. Batgirl gets a nice Freudian Dick Joke at Penguin's expense. But anyway, this version of the tale reminds me how demeaning Paul can be to Harley. To Paul, even Harley's real accomplishments, such as her degree in psychology, must be viewed with a jaundiced eye. The original comic version of "Mad Love" plainly stated that Harley only got through College by screwing her professors. I was glad to see that angle dropped in the animated version. (And overall, I would say that the animated Mad love was a subtle improvement over the comics tale.) But here, those old implications come back even more pathetically. Harley has her degree through some lame 12 week online course. Now Paul's saying she wasn't even good enough to go to real College! Consider all this in contrast to the Joker, who is evil but still has the dignity by being a truly talented chemist. Not so with Harley. To Dini, Harley is nothing but a fluzy.

Still, to call attention this episodes strengths, this is truly a Harley spotlight of a kind I just don't remember seeing in BTAS. Too true, BTAS did have many Harley spotlights, (Harley and Ivy, Harlyquinnade and Harley's Holiday all very memorable.) But when Harley got a spotlight in BTAS, it was usually only in episodes she got to spend a significant amount of time away from Joker. (The above 3 examples.) When Joker and Harley would reteam, she would get back in line as his subservient. Here, she's paired with Joker the whole time and holds her own. the final scheme is hers and focused around her. Even Joker starts getting worried that she's stealing the spotlight. So in that sense, I do have to say attitudes about the character may have improved.

Her new design is undeniably cute. Harley was cuter in a handful of TNBA episodes, (Particularly beware the creeper,) but that's rarified company.

Rumors: Yep. Every so often the itch comes up to write a story about a fellow who's "more Batman than Batman" someone not just willing to beat the baddies and turn them over to the police, but someone out to off the baddies once and for all. The obvious moral dilemma is whether or not letting someone kill the killers is a bad idea, but hardly any entries in this sort of story explore that as much as it could be. from BTAS, we have Mask the Phantasm, and Lock up. TNBA contributes Judgment Day and to a lesser extent, Mystery of the Batwoman. Batman Beyond has "Payback" to it's name, and finally the Batman has Rumors. And to be honest, since no episode proposes a solution to the central moral dilemma, only the episodes where there's a clever twist as to the new vigalante's secret identity stand out. That's why Rumors gets filed away with the likes of Judgment day. Mostly Meh. But to it's credit, it does ring out some interesting moments having all the villains together reacting to this situation, and a very memorable fight with all the villains.

Joining, parts 1 and 2: Umm, okay, I guess. I mean, there are memorable bits to be sure, but the whole alien invasion story comes together quickly and perfunctorily, the aliens themselves don't seem so unique, and the whole thing seems mostly like an exercise in how many one-liners they can squeeze into this thing. (I mean, lately people seem impressed by one liners again, but I remember when they were considered cheap and lame.) I mean, sure, the watchtower being a floating version of the Hall of Justice from Superfriends does tickle my geek bone, but I had to train myself long ago to not reward or be impressed by such gratuitous references. Some shows just slide by on them.

And there you go. On par with season 2. Part of me still likes season 3 more.

Hopefully, coming soon-ish a review of Bender's Big Score with a large geeky discussion on time travel.

Final thought for 2007.

2008-01-02T04:45:15Z

It's hideous. I'm 23 1/2 half, and I've hit that point in my life where I've started having regrets. Wishing I could turn back the clock and handle things differently.

Still though, that gave way to another thought: No, you can't go back to the past and do it again. stop pining for it. Are you making the most of your current time? When you look back at this moment in your life, will you be able to say you used it how you liked to?

It's trite. It's a cliche. but sometimes, it takes a unique moment in your life to appreciate it. It's helped me do something I've been meaning to do for a long time. To take a goal in my life, and make it go from being a "one day" to a "today." So, that's good.

Christmas Carol Write up.

2007-11-27T21:45:11Z

Okay, so it's getting to be that time of year again. And lately, I've been feeling like revisiting the story of Scrooge.

I kind of Didn't, last year. The last couple of years, I more likely checked out the Different iterations of the Grinch and finally caught the old stop-motion classic, Santa Clause is Coming to Town! (Which, if it were made today, would surely be entitled "Santa Claus Begins." )

But this year, is it encroaches, I've felt a longing for that sort of "Victorian Style" Christmas. Which I know is REALLY artificial for a suburban kid born in the '80s, but heck, that's how "traditional Christmas" was always presented to me. (As a side note, that's part of the reason I find the "War on Christmas" such a laughable notion. My Grandfather, God rest him, schooled me years ago how everyone had a communal celebration at winter solstice anyway, for thousands of years, and people just attached there own things to it along the way. Celebrating Christ's birth didn't START Christmas, it was just a thing Christians attached to an already-existing holiday. So who the hell are we to get possessive of it?)

Okay, I'm getting off-topic here. Victorian Christmas. Got it. So, there are several elements of a Victorian Christmas. One my favorites is setting up little "Christmas Villages," just miniature towns and buildings in a snowy scape with little people ice skating and kids awaiting santa claus. When my mom would put up our interior Holiday decorations, that was always my favorite part.

And ofcourse, you gotta revisit the story of Scrooge. Have to. It's one of Christmas's central stories. The story of Christ's birth is for spiritual edification. Santa Claus is a whimsical children's fairy tale. but "A Christmas Carol" skillfully sums up the sociological importance of the spirit of Christmas, and why helping your fellow human being is so vital. (Basically, it goes "Look Scrooge, we're living in a society here. At the end of the day, a society is basically all about people helping each other out to make life a little better. And if you're only ever going to take and never give back, not only does that make you a gigantic Dickwad, but also an evil son of a bitch." I guess it's good I didn't write the story, because I would have given that line to Jacob Marely.)

So, I want to revisit the Scrooge tale. But how so? There's the original short Novel, ofcourse, by Charles Dickens. And it's good. You should read it if you haven't yet. I did in High School, so maybe you did to. If not, it's public domain. Therefore, copies of it are cheap and abundant. In fact, they're even online. Look it up on Wikipedia, and they'll link you to Wikibooks, there site that presents classic novels online and you can read it there. Shoot, there's even audibooks of it online, as mp3s, for free. I swear it's legal, honest. So that's another way to go.

But you know, I'm really more in the mind of a film adaption. And there's a ton of those too. I've heard that Jim Carey will be doing Scrooge in one for Next year. Well, I don't wanna wait till next year, so I'll check the back catalog.

For straight up Christmas carol movies, there's one from the fifties, and I think it's called "Scrooge." Most experts say it's the best of the Christmas Carol movies. saw it 10 years ago, and I felt it was kinda dry. My father raves about a version made in the '80s staring George C. Scott as Scrooge. It's his favorite, but I still haven't seen it. I know that sounds weird, but hey. I guess he just didn't watch it in the 15 years I lived with him. (and no, that's not a dig at my dad on any count.) A few years ago, Patrick Stewart made one for cable. I saw it. I thought it was a competent but not exceptional take on it. Still, I see it make regular rounds on DVD and it exists for that subset of Geek fandom who insists that every piece of classical literature be made into a film staring Patrick Stewart. (Look it up. There's more of those than you might think, even if most of them were made for cable.)

Nah. Actually, you know what? I'm more in the mood for a novelty Christmas Carol. What do I mean by that? I mean a version of the story that was made that utilizes a cast of famous cartoon characters to play some or all of the characters in the story. And there are a ton of those. Virtually every cartoon cast of note has taken a run at this story too. So, what is there in this catagory?

-The Looney Tunes actually did 2 takes on Christmas Carol. But don't be surprised if you can't remember either. Both were done long after the prime of the Merrie Melodies. The first one, done in the seventies, had Yosemite Sam as Scrooge. But from there, it derailed wildly off the track of the original tale, as Bugs Bunny plays cratchit, but decides to get back at his boss, so he pretends to be each of the ghosts in the tale to torment Sam in his home. You know, that premise sounds pretty good, and had it been done in the late 40s or 50s, this would probably be a classic now. But, it was done in the '70s, and as such it's one of those embarrassing chapters in Looney Tunes best forgotten. I've read and seen on shelves though that they used the Looney Tunes yet again for a tale of Scrooge, called "Bah Humduck!" and it's a DTV released just last year. It features Daffy Duck this time taking a turn as scrooge. Come to think of it, that sounds promising too. Maybe I'll have to check into that one...

The Flintstones did a Christmas Carol as a special in the 90s. Caught this one a few years ago. What's inspired about this one is that it's premise take the Flintstones, in their real, every-day regular situation, living and working in Bedrock, and has "A Christmas Carol" be a PLAY that Wilma is staging at a community center for the town to perform in and watch. And Fred lands the coveted role of Scrooge, which really inflates his ego. So, "A Christmas carol's" story is juxtaposed against a very traditional type Flintstones story. That touch really sold the special for me.

I remember an episode of the animated Back to the Future did this too, with animated Marty trying to prove the point to Scrooge. I wish that show would be compiled on DVD. Or was it already?

Didn't Animaniacs do Christmas carol too at one point?

Well, obviously I'm just killing time now until I hit upon a couple of the most famous Cartoon Christmas Carols: Mickey's Christmas Carol and Muppet's Christmas Carol. taking them in turn:

Mickey's Christmas Carol may be the version of the story that hits nearest and dearest to my heart. I grew up with it. it was the first version of the tale I ever remember seeing. And I've watched it many times over the years. So, for sheer, brute-force childhood nostalgia, it's my favorite version, even if I've come to acknowledge some of it's shortcomings as an adult. Despite the name, Mickey doesn't play Scrooge but Cratchit. So, he spends most of the film looking mopey. I mean, it was such an obvious opportunity to cast Scrooge McDuck as Ebenezer Scrooge. I mean, way no brainer. And sometimes, when things seem really obvious like that, they'd want avoid doing it just because it IS so "well duh." But no. They didn't buck the trend. Scrooge Mcduck is Scrooge. And it's really cool. Still, I do have to note that this is probably the must abridged telling of the Scrooge tale of any adaption EVER. Only, I think, two stops in time with the ghost of Christmas past. The ghost of Christmas present ONLY drops by the Cratchits, and the ghost of Christmas future ONLY drops by long enough to show us and scrooge that by next Christmas Tiny Tim has died and so has Scrooge. Still though, I must say, the film added a fairly intense touch to the future visit. Scrooge peers into the open grave, and Pete pushes him in, laughing maniacly. Scrooge clings dearly the edge of the grave, trying to pull himself back up, and he looks below to see that his coffin has opened, revealing nothing less than THE GATE TO HELL. Scrooge loses his hand holds, and falls in, screaming "I'll change!!!" as we fade to black. If the scene didn't immediately shift to him safe in his bed, it might all have been too much.

The other version is Muppets Christmas Carol. I actually saw that in theaters when it was first out but had not seen it since. Well, I knew it was considered one of the better adaptions, so I picked it up to watch last week. It was good, but I thought a little TOO faithful to the text to take full advantage of the muppets. But hey, it's probably the best adaption I've seen.

And... that's it.

Coming Soon: A review of The Batman Season 4 and a spoiler-laden review of Bender's Big Score.

Some Harry Potter movie 6 news.

2007-11-17T07:02:09Z

This is mostly for Matt.

Well, the casting has been announced. They've announced actors for Horace Slughorn, Narcissa Malfoy and Lavender Brown, seeming to confirm they are in the movie.

And they announced to others: An actor playing 11 year old Tom Riddle and an Actor playing 16 year old Tom Riddle. So Matt, that pretty much confirms that at least SOME of the Penseive sequences are going to be in the film. I know you were worried about that, given the slashing of the backstory in "PoA." Still though, I wonder, what about the post Hogwarts Tom riddle stuff, when He was working at Borgon and Burks and asking Dumbledore for a job. Since the didn't announce a 20's Tom Riddle, that suggests those parts may not be in it. (Although, it may just mean they'll stretch the actor playing him at sixteen to do this early 20s stuff as well.)

Interesting!

Pebbles and Bam-Bam coming to DVD!!!

2007-11-17T06:54:19Z

So reports Toon Zone! They're still good for something!!!

Mmmkay. So. Back in the day when Cartoon Network and Boomerang were still awesome and I watched them rabidly, (about 2000-2004. Since JLU ended, I don't even tune into CN anymore.) one of my favorite things to do was to watch CN and Boomerang, (particularly Boomerang) for old Hanna Barbera shows. The quality, famous shows were always a treat, like Flintstones and Jetsons. But the REAL fun was finding semi-famous, semi-obscure, and obscure old shows and watching them. These could be a real riot. I loved them.

And one of my most favorites was the Pebbles and Bam-Bam show, a semi-obscure Flintstones spinoff from the mid seventies. Though Pebbles and Bam-Bam were famously toddlers in the old series, this spinoff jumped ahead, say, 14-15 years to show what they were like as teenagers.*

The show was basically a forrunner of the current Disney Channel programming strategy, which I recently discussed. Basically, it's about Pebbles and Bam-Bam's high school daze, as they also hang out with some assorted useless friends. (a male nerd, a female who aspires to be a psychic, and another female self-conscious about being overweight. believe me, that's the only development those characters ever got.) they got into all kinds of hijinks, like Pebbles discovering Bam-Bam is a beautiful singer, but only when he's in the shower, so she tries to arrange live performances for Bam-bam that he can perform while showering. Or the time when Pebbles, then Bam-bam, then the other 3 friends, then Fred and Wilma, then finally Betty all believe that Pebbles accidentally turned Barney into a frog while practicing witchliness. (Turns out Barney was just in the can or something. It was a big misunderstanding.) Many of the hijinks are caused because Pebbles gets a "hair brained scheme," and while Bam Bam objects, he still ends up helping. "Why do I always help you with these stupid plans!?" he laments. (Well, the sex, obviously.) So, in this way, Pebbles and Bam Bam's relationship mirrors the relationship of their fathers, Fred and Barney. Just with Sex. Okay, with Sexual tension. Alright, fine, "romantic" tension. But Pebble's schemes are usually more well meant than Fred's. Fred's schemes were usually just money-making plans. Pebbles is usually out to help someone. (although, on at least one occasion, she did have a straight-up money making scheme. It involved a sea monster. Go figure.)

Hmm. Where was I? Oh yeah. To sum up, CN sucks now, I can't even get Boomerang anymore, but Pebbles and Bam Bam is coming to DVD which helps a lot. TZ says it hits this march. cool. In the mean time, I gotta get The Batman Season 4 next week. So there.

*An interesting side note, even though the show was 15 years later, the adults, Fred, Wilma, Barney and Betty, who still made regular appearances as ancillary characters, did not age a single day since the old series. If they were early thirties before, they must be mid-to-late forties by now. Still, it's a cartoon, so we can take it in stride. By contrast, I could never understand "peanuts time" when it came to Batman. So, Batman was 30 When Dick Grayson, 12, came to live with him. Batman was still 30 when Dick was 19 and in college. Batman was still 30 when Dick was 23, graduating College, and leaving Gotham and his role as Robin Behind. Finally, Dick, 27, returns to Gotham as Nightwing and Batman is 35. A couple of years after that, the Justice League forms, and Batman, age 30, joins. Mahhuh?

Write up on Disney Channel line up 11 PM-1 Am CST.

2007-11-13T05:34:07Z

Well, I HAVE to watch something on occasion to calm down the jitters. And it's a post DCAU world now. Okay, I like The Batman, a LOT, but not enough to watch consistently on Saturday mornings, so I mostly wait for the DVDs. (Besides, I harbor bitterness to Johnny-come-lately fans who act like seasons 4 and 5 are better than seasons 2 and 3. They are not. The only difference is that people finally got over themselves concerning that show.) But Anyway, lately I've been watching Disney Channel, particularly the late slot between 11 and 1. I'm Central, so Eastern that's mid night and 2. Mountain, I suppose that's 10-12, and Pacific, I think they're so far behind the rest of the country they get there own feed, sort of the television equivalent of a short bus. (nah, I kid.) So, I've watched enough episodes of the series in question to comment on the series in general. This is not specific episode reviews, just general thoughts.

The Replacements: A pair of precious Red-Head Siblings, Todd and Riley, are orphans. That sucks. But they find a Silver age comic book. And Silver age comic books were the Golden Age BS comic book ads. And such an add promises a life-long deal to replace any in your life with someone better just by call an all powerful company named Fleemco, run by the eccentric Comrade Fleem, a man who's dedicated his life to the betterment of the first 2 orphans to respond to his add by sending him $1.95.

So, our heroes Todd and Riley first decide to use their awesome new power to replace their unfortunately dead parents with 2 cool live ones. And they are the kind of choices kids would make. For their dad, they choose Dick Daring, and Evel Kineveal-esque Dare Devil. Perhaps a lifetime of stunts has stunted his intellect though, because he's a well meaning bumbler who always announces his presence with "look out Below!" (And no, I don't want to get into the whole "Tv Dumb Dad" argument right now.) For they're mom, they choose Uber-hot British Super-spy Agent K, who's own competence as a parent is undercut by her rabid paranoia of the world at large, but is also well-meaning and loving. (Which begs the question, how did Comrade Fleem arrange for Dick Daring and Agent K to fall in love? I dunno, I missed the pilot.) K though does bring many cool gadgets, including her talking car, CAR. CAR is a talking Car, but he's not like the movie Cars because he doesn't have a disturbing and nonsensical talking face on his front end. Nor does he turn into a Robot like a Transformer, he seems to be just a Car, Named CAR. Sort of like Kitt from Knight Rider, I suppose. And he has a lot of Gadgets. (Not so much Batmobile or Bondmobile, but more like the Mach 5 from Speed Racer.) Oh, and CAR is a smart ass and he hates Dick Daring. And that's kinda funny.

There are also a couple of noteworthy ancillary characters. A male classmate of Todd and Riley is a nerd, and so their approach to that is to have him be like Jerry Lewis. Okay, maybe it's not that noteworthy. But, a Friend of Riley's is a girl who's German and wears heavy Hi-tech metal Armor all the time. At first, I thought she was some kind of Cosplayer, but she claims to be some sort of evil Cyborg hunter, so maybe she really does hunt Cyborgs. When the fiction is that far out, it's hard to tell who you are and aren't supposed to take seriously. (I call it "The Question" syndrome. I mean, the DCAU is a place where no less than 3 immortals are running around, a Demon man, several magicians, and all manner of aliens, with complicated conspiracies. The Question is a man who is a proponent of such theories. In his debut episode, his theories turned out to be right. And yet, Dwayne McDuffie insisted the Question was a nutball who should not be taken seriously? Mah-Huh? Dude, just own up to the fact that you and BT didn't have the whole thing thought out so you had to do a little whinging it late season 3.) Anyway, the armor girl is noteworthy because she got one really funny gag. Once, she was frozen up and caught out in the snow, and instead of helping her, all the other kids hung Christmas ornaments on her. To which she pronounce, "My Anger will keep me warm."

Okay, so Todd and Riley's first foray into replacing people worked out well. And they retain the ability to replace people as they see fit. As you may guess, though, most episodes have the same structure. An adult imposes a rule Todd and/or Riley chafes at. They replace the person in question with someone who holds the exact opposite view. Situation is worse. They have to undo the replacement, or at least fight their way to a compromise. I mean, replacing people is a hideous power to have, and it's hard not to portray it in a negative light, even when that's your show's central gimmick. But, the show does occasionally have something slightly more subtle to say. Riley, the girl, is more prone to try to use her power for good, such as the time she got a fawning girlfriend for the previously mentioned Jerry Lewis nerd. The fact that he seemed to want a girlfriend in principal but rejected the girlfriend in fact was an interesting point to make. Some people can't handle what they really want. And meddling in other peoples affairs is rarely a good thing.

So, I find the Replacements to be funny enough to watch semi-nightly, and is perhaps my favorite series of the 4 I'm talking about.

Kim Possible:

(Please note: Though this series is played nightly on Disney Channel, it appears that they are NOT cycling through the entire back catalog of Kim Possible episodes, but rather are only showing the episodes of the most recent season. Because there are MANY shows I like that I would not want judged solely on their final seasons, I will note that my opinion may not be fair to the show as a total. C'est la Vie.)

Okay, so there's this girl named Kim Possible who has a Rocket Scientist for a Father and a Neurosurgeon for a Mother, and they are both still alive. Kim Possible has a Boyfriend named Ron Stoppable, who's sort of a nerd, but not a total nerd. (actually, it's odd, because he uses popular slang and is in on all the cool stuff, but the show wants me to think he's a nerd, and a coward.) Kim Possible is a top Student in High School, and has an after school job at something called the Banana Club, which is like a Banana Republic or Gap or something. Oh, and when she finds the time, she goes globe-hopping to save the world from the forces of evil, as something half-way between a spy and a Superhero. 70% of the time, though, the forces of evil in question are a guy named Dr. Drakken, (though "Dr." must just a be self appointed title, as he's also a self-admitted College drop out. Much like Yours Truly, come to thing of it. Sure, I could Un-Drop out, but I'm not sure I want to. But, anyway.) And his sidekick, who seems a potent enough threat in her own right that I'm surprised she is a sidekick, a woman named Shego, who has green Plasma hand blasts or something. And, according to one episode, she's a former Superhero herself, having once belonged to a Teen Titans esque group known as "Team Go," (in their hilarious "Go Tower," which would be funny, but I don't think Kim Possible is in any position to through spitballs at fellow Superhero cartoons.) Kim also has a pair of twin little brothers who are geniuses. That's all well and good, but they are annoying because they are the series most blatant outlet for attempting to create new slang that'll be hip. They say things like "Hicka-Bicka-Boo?" (Inquisitive greeting,) and "Hoo-Shah!" (Exclamatory.)

The series does have a light-hearted sense of fun that I can see being attractive to many people. And the series protagonist, Kim Possible, is a competent girl. And that, all by itself, is very praise worthy. Nevertheless, I do hold some things against this series.

The series is 85% Kim's normal, High School life. I know. That's what many fans love. For many people, such normalcy in a fantasy show helps ground it and keep it relate-able. Like Harry Potter, which I really, really like, The vast bulk of the story is just regular school stuff, which I call "The boring parts." But the boring parts are what ground the characters, so most people love it. Hey, this approach must work for a vast number of people, as Spiderman has taken it too. (In the 60's, no more than 25% of a Spidey story was the boring school part. Sam Raimi plays it for 90% of story. And the Television show Heroes is about superpowered people and it's composed EXCLUSIVELY of boring parts. So, shows what I know.) Still, Kim's regular life I find to be, oh, I don't want to call it asinine, but, yeah, I think that's the word.

See, my beef with Kim is that there's nothing that humbles her. She's a Jock. A female Jock, but a Jock nontheless. Her parents are both living, both brilliant, both have good jobs, and are both Rich. Okay, maybe they're only "Way, WAY Upper Middle Class," but they ain't hurting for money. So, right away, Kim is used to having whatever she wants, particularly in the way of vehicles, hi-tech gadgets, and enough scratch to cover any activity she could possibly want to do. She's also a top cheerleader, a co-captain as it turns out, and a top student. There's nothing she can't do. Which, admittedly, seems to be part of the point of the character. But consider this: Almost every Hero has something that humbles them, an obstacle to overcome, or at least a good gruesome tragedy in their past. Consider some Superheroes. What humbles Superman? He lost his whole civilization. Not to mention he grew up humbly on a farm on Smallville. (I know I've digressed a lot by know, but I thought I should mention an argument I used to have with my mom over this point when she was at her peak Spider-man fangirl-ishness. She argued that Spider-man was more down to earth than Superman because he was just a regular guy from Queens going to school before he got his Powers. I counter argued that Superman's background on the farm was even more humble. She then came back that Superman is Superman, he can do anything! I then argued that powers are besides the point of this discussion, because Spider-man has an impressive array of powers too. She then got pissed off. Meh.) Wonderwoman had to reject her royal heritage to follow her conscience. And Batman, well, he ain't hurting for money either, but he still has a good, solid, horrific tragedy in his background. What can't Kim Possible do? What has she had to sacrifice to be a crime fighter? What Obstacles has she had to overcome? Has she ever even had a bad day? What possibly motivates her to even fight crime at all? (Again, this is where my lack of familiarity with the earlier seasons may be hurting my opinions.)

Okay, perhaps there is something that humbles her: Her boyfriend and Partner in crime-fighting, Ron Stoppable. (Poor Will Friedel. He was Batman, after all. That should count for something. Although, he was also in "Boy Meets World," a series I actively despise, so maybe he had it coming to him Karmacly.) As mentioned before, Ron is a Doofus. And something of a coward, as one episode demonstrates where he goes into hiding fearing his demise is statistically inevitable. He's into geeky things, but, again, not so much so to be unforgivable, as Kim's cousin appears to be. He's also obsessed with eating at a Taco Bell-knockoff called Buena Nacho. Again, on the one hand, this is fine. Having the girl Kim's sidekick be a less-than-competent boy is excellent gender-bending. And yet, I don't like how the series treats him. The fact that he seems out of the Al-mighty Kim Possible's league is treated as an open joke by all characters. Even Kim seems to acknowledge she could and should be with someone hotter and less doofus-y, and accepts with bemusement her "fate" of being with Ron. I mean, does she love the guy or not? She certainly seems condescending about it. True, it could be said that this is part of a broader character flaw evident in Kim: for all the reasons stated in the last paragraph, she's conceited. On more than one occasion, she's flummoxed when she seems to run up against a limit in her abilities. "I'm Kim Possible, as in anything is," she's heard to quote. This can be an interesting line for them to develop for her, but it's never really drawn out as an actual character flaw. Oh well.

And lets get down to cases: All the characters on the show speak both with Hip slang and an irreverence to their situations which gets irritating. In the first case, not only do we have Kim's brothers out trying to invent hip new terminology to say, but Ron always has some grating word too. He can be heard saying things like "A Yup Yup!" (Wasn't that an Ewoks song?) and particularly, "Boo-Yeah!" Okay, I know Cyborg also said "Boo-yeah" on Teen Titans, but never so much that it was grating. It spills out of Ron's mouth near constantly. But in the second case, all the characters on the show speak in a jaded, "been there, done that" post modern flip way of speaking where they never seem to take serious situations seriously. Apparently, this is a popular thing to do in sci-fi and fantasy these days, under the assumption that the fans have seen it all too. Apparently, Joss Whedon was a pioneer of such lines. (I've heard them called "clever" lines, which I think is the wrong word for the umbrella term.) I admit, in small doses, it's refreshing. Key is small doses. For example, in Spider-man 3, Spider-man reacts to the Supervillain Sandman with, "Where do these guys, (superpowered Supervillains) keep coming from?" It's refreshing and gets a genuine laugh. But that's because the whole movie isn't built on self-aware lines. I felt that such self-aware humor was becoming poisonous to the last couple of seasons of JLU, and it's also in full force on Kim Possible, at least in it's final season. Shego openly mocks Drakken's ineffectiveness as a Supervillain, and when his plans do seem to be going well, she comments, "This level of competence from you is a refreshing change of pace." Oh Ha Ha. But answer me this, Shego; Why are you still hanging out with such an ineffective loser? You don't look better for recognizing him as ineffective: you look worse because you recognize it but still show up for work. (Admittedly, I saw only part of the final episode where it was suggested that maybe Drakken and Shego are in love, but are both too proud to admit it. If that's true, then that does help explain it.)

Too Sum up: Kim Possible is a pretty good but flawed show I've been watching lately. Yeah, I probably focused to exclusion on my problems with it, hey, I guess Anton Ego was right: Being critical is just more fun. So sue me.

The Emperor's New School: You know how I was just complaining about self-aware humor? Well, screw it. This show is dripping with it, and it's hilarious. On the other hand, it is a legitimate parody, where such self-aware humor should be the norm. And Parodies are hard to pull off. But this one works.

And that probably mostly has to do with the show being a spin-off of one of Disney's least known animated masterpieces, The Emperor's New Groove. That movie is so noteworthy because, even though it's G-rated, it's actually, legitimately funny. Not just family-friendly Disney G-rated funny, where Kids think it's hilarious and adults smile because it's cute. Most Disney movies and even a few Pixar films are that way. But Emperor's New Groove was actually, legitimately funny in a way that adults would actually laugh because it's actually funny. And Emperor's New School is much the same way, and less dumbed down than you'd expect.

But Yes, it is dumbed down. To recap the premise, Kuzco is the 18 year old emperor of the ancient Inca Empire. In the movie, he was a hyper conceited jerk who didn't care who's lives he destroyed for his own edification. Then, when his Enemy Yzma makes a move for the throne, he had a humbling experience with a villager named Pacha that gave Kuzco a new look on life. Well, the show picks up with the notion that that experience didn't make Kuzco not self-absorbed, it merely took the most raw edge off it. Well, Kuzco finds that an obscure law requires that his Emperorship be suspended until he finishes High School, so he gets booted from the palace and moves in with Pacha as a fourth child. Meanwhile, Yzma still needs to bump off Kuzco before she can make a play for the throne, so she enrolls her beefy cronie Kronk, (Patrick Warburton, best known as Seinfeld's David Puddy, in his most inspired animated role) to enroll in the school as well, (despite the fact he's nearing 30) to get close to Kuzco to execute Yzma's plans. Which, almost universally, involve slipping Kuzco a potion that will turn him into an animal. There's also a new character named Malina, the School's hottest cheerleader, (I was a little surprised that an animated program was able to use the word "hot" in that sense) to serve as Kuzco's love interest, and his conscience. (Being his conscience should have been Pacha's job, but a major flaw in the show is that the memorable Pacha has been shoved aside to accommodate the high school motif.)

So, what else can I say? Well, it's really funny. Seriously. If you haven't seen it, you should. But promise me you'll watch Emperor's New Groove first. Perhaps the humor of the series has a lot to do with the fact that it's a stunted morality tale. All the characters know they're flawed, and know they need to improve, but can never muster the effort to do so. Which is startlingly realistic. So, it's good to be able to laugh at it.

American Dragon: Jake Long. : Okay. I don't really know much to anything about this show. When Emperor's New School Wraps up, I tend to roll over and go to sleep. But I do know that this show has the most insipid theme song in the history of cartoons. Here's the first few lines of it, no kidding:

"He's Cool, He's Hot, like a Frozen Sun. He's Young, He's Hip, He's the Chosen One. People, we're not Braggin'. He's the American Dragon."

I mean, I've heard some riffing on the sucktitude of other cartoon themes. Some people hate the new TMNT song because it has the line "Watch out for Shredder!" Spoken, not sung, in it. But Jesus. Frozen Sun? Yah kiddin' me?

Okay. I guess the show is about a Kid who can turn into a Dragon. So can he Grandpa, and, at times, his little sister. So, he's hardly unique. He's also got a Talking Bulldog. And a Dorky friend who's trying to date a hot cheer leader way out of his league. (that... sounds... familiar, somehow?) Oh, yeah, and Cree Summer is there too. It's totally paint by numbers. Which is why I sleep through that one.

And so ends my write up on some cartoons I've been watching lately. But Hey. I turned to Disney Channel to fulfill a specific need, and it did: a relaxing set of shows to calm down to and go to sleep by.

Now, if only I had recorded that Kim Possible marathon from a couple of months ago...

WTF!?

2007-10-16T04:41:42Z

I think I'm gonna have an aneurysm. I mean, just how stupid can some people get?

I was working at walmart, and an elderly gentlemen gives me a card pamphlet and mentions something about a Superhighway going all the way through Mexico, the US, and Canada, and the North American Union(?). I open the card. it features a flag that's a composite of the US, Mexico, and Canada flags and warns of the same North American Union and prints some immigration statistics to prove some sort point. (According to the card, it appears Illegal immigration didn't exist until the 1960's!) The whole thing was laughable and inane, and links to a website:

http://www.jbs.org/nau

Go. Laugh. And then be afraid. Not of the so called North American Union, but of really stupid people buying into this crap, and this John Birch Society that's organizing it. Also note that they're trying to get you to take action at every turn but being very vague about the specifics of their BS conspiracy theory.

I mean, I hope the rank-and-file swing-voting American has enough common sense to see through this very inane scare attempt, but I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that I haven't heard the last of this completely fictional North American Union and it will be some sort of hot-button issue next year.

And for some more fun from stupid people, I'm linking to an article at Snopes, (A VERY good website for debunking BS you hear on the internet) discussing the Right Wing's fear of the "Amero," The fictional currency for the fiction "North American Union."

http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/amero.asp

I'm suffering from Writer's Laziness.

2007-10-12T03:33:03Z

I'm sure other people who have written know this one. I love my ideas, be they reviews or stories, when they're a big swirling mass of potential in my head. But to sit down and hammer them out? rough man.

Does anyone have any coping strategies for this?

Oh. My. God.

2007-10-12T03:22:35Z

It has come to my attention that a video game version of the Classic Looney Tune "Duck Amuck" not only exists, but is shipping to stores as we speak on the Nintendo DS.

Now, you may be tempted to say "Meh" but hold on one second.

It's on the Nintendo DS, and that's what makes the critical difference.

For you see, the Nintendo DS has a touch screen, that basically allows you to draw on the game screen. You starting to see the potential here? the Duck Amuck cartoon was entirely based around an unseen animator tormenting Daffy by drawing or erasing things on or around him.

The DS game puts you in the role of the animator. Erase Daffy's beak and redraw it. turn his voice off. and torment him to your heart's content. Ah, the age we live in.

I rebought a DS a couple of weeks ago. I had one at the beginning, in 2004, back when they didn't know what to do with it. in the intervening years however, it seems they've gotten more creative. Sure, I bought a Zelda game which is totally awesome, but even more mind-shattering is another new game I got, called Drawn to Life, which basically let's you draw your own video game character and play the game with it. This has, literally, been a dream of mine since a kid. Put my own guy in the game. The game itself is engaging, but I spending most of my time redrawing and critiquing my character's look, to make it the best character possible.

I did a bad thing.

2007-09-28T01:11:45Z

I started thinking about all the things I'm still bitter about with how my parents handled their divorce. I've been feeling shitty for two days now.

Thanks Chris.

2007-09-11T20:56:40Z

After shunning them for brick and mortar stores, I've been using Deep Discount last couple of weeks as per Chris's suggestion. Indeed, they have rock-bottom prices, free shipping, and the free shipping is surprisingly fast! on my 2 orders so far, the packages have been delivered within 4 days of the order, even though they estimate 5-10!

Chris, they are a great service! When do they do that coupon deal again?

I just saw part of a tailspin episode.

2007-08-29T17:01:27Z

"For Whom the Bell Klangs" In case you don't know, it's pretty much the best episode of any animated cartoon show of all time.

Anyone know if it's currently on DVD?

I think I'm losing my grip.

2007-08-09T18:40:40Z

Today, I was sitting down, and wanted my phone, which was accross the room. So I held out my hand and said "accio!"

For a half second, I was surprised it didn't fly into my hand. But then, I was more surprised and disturbed I thought it WOULD.